In the 'Spirit' of Things~!

Ah alchohol!

the magical elixir that makes the old feel young, the shy brave, the not so funny hilarious and the not so pretty into hot babes you just wait to introduce yourself to.

alchohol must be the most written about food stuff in the history of human kind. Mead of the bible, laws of the local magistrate and endless amount of advertising. Just for discussions sake, how many of us has:

1) Funny stories about friends who were too drunk?
2) Secret recipies of the 'perfect cocktail'?
3) Discussions in the mamak about the 'night you got so drunk....'?

many though do not discuss the best way to handle a drunk. After much research (mostly on myself) I will list down the step by step guide on:

HANDLING THE DRUNK FRIEND

Step 1:
Determine how drunk the poor lad really is. Don't make him walk a straight line, touch his nose, tell the number of fingers you have up or anything like that. try something that uses more cognitive skill.

Like rate that girl sitting the bar, or spell missisippi backwards (if he takes longer than a minute then hes officially too drunk to do anything). These are good, real tests.

Step 2:
Don't take him out to get fresh air. That does nothing to clear the mind. Instead feed lots of plain water (warm if possible). That will force the bugger to go to the toilet more often keeping his liver working fine and starting draining the alchohol out of his body.

Step 3:
Feed lots of fiber and carbs. The food stuff will start absorbing the alchohol in his body up nicely for step 4.

Step 4:
Somewhere around here he'll start barfing away.

when taking care of a vomiting drunk
1) stand behind the person.
2) rub his back upwards.
3) if he allows it hold around his waist and when you feel the stomach tensing up to hurl gently apply more pressure directly on the stomach to push more of the carbs out.
4) have tissue and clean water available for him to clean up.
5) continue from step 2

Remember at all times, when under the influence of alchohol the person is easily irritable, has a heighten sense of hearing, loss much of his motor skills and has very little control of his emotional state. Take all that into consideration before even volunteering to take care of a drunk friend.

If you guys can manage the time, watch 'The legend of Bagger Vance', especially the scene where the kid tries to convince the golfer guy to enter the golf tournament. The topic on the table then was 'How drunk is drunk enough' the moral was 'we choose to be drunk to forget who we really are.

but not to end the blog on a sombre note i have compiled the list below.

Twenty-Five Reasons Why a Beer Is Better Than A woman

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play softball.
5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
8. Hangovers go away.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth five cents.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
14. If you pour a beer right, you always get good head.
15. A beer always goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know when your the first one to pop a beer.
19. Beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. You can have a beer in public.
22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

Best wishes,
Azlan A. Aziz