D-305 - A[cubed], Beachboi, and the JimBo

MEMO: While you were away

2007-09-13T19:25:00.000+08:00

Dear Alex,

Just some random pics to keep you updated on the latest 'happenings' here on Cyberjaya.

Your friend,

Azlan A. Aziz

Yup, that's right. Beachboi is no longer in the loop. He somehow got his poorself shipped off to Limkokwing London and so this is the best way to keep him updated on things here @ Malaysia.

You gotta love this web log idea. So here goes in no particular order; top pics of the day:

Aw isn’t that nice….

So, these three guys are what’s left of the original Mayang Campus Domestic team.
Both David’s (TEH and HO) got themselves married away.
Kriesler (the traitor) is now happy in Taylor’s.
Saji is is some part of Europe (Yay, Saji~!).

Which is good too. The world has to be spared of terrible poser pix such as these.

Suresh took Alex’s departure pretty bad. Pictures self explanatory.

Johan was acting all mucho ‘i dun care that alex is not around. I just wanna play with my new phone and drink beer’. Poor guy, he doesn’t know that we saw through his façade.

The rest of us then drowned our selves in our work to forget that Alex is no longer with us.
This is us @ the European education fair. Suresh, Ain, my GF and me stayed up till 5 am packing infopacks for the event. Em spent most of her birthday with us trying to forget that alex wasn't around.

But most of the time we spend our time talking about phones and dumb poses with phones.

Keep us posted bro. Ill try to keep you updated with the insanity here too.

Chiaoz.

Its new year and im fucking broke!

2006-02-01T17:07:00.000+08:00

Sorry about the tone but i thought the start to the new lunar year deserved a sounding like this.

Its true, im fucking broke. I got my pay on the 26 of Jan. But had to settle two months rent koz i owed my lanlord the previous month. He's such a nice uncle. And i wouldn't want to get into bad terms with him.. you know.. avoid unneccessary remarks about me not paying the rent and me answering:

"Are u sure!? im pretty sure i banked it in this month!! wait a min... i think that was last months...! oups"

not that i've done it before, but it would have sounded all the most similar. then there's the fact that he doesnt speak english... so the statement above would have had to be translated by me dear gf, into broken cantonese... broken. yes. coz my gf only speaks mandarin and teochew.

coming back to the fact that im broke... ive actually invested RM200 in a hamper this month for my future father in law (cross fingers)... out of the money that i had left. It turned out quite a good investment as i received my first pat on the back ever since i met him. I have no words to describe the feeling as he looked at me, smile, and gave me that nice pat... A moment without words to describe. It all came to me in a slow motion pace... and in my head, i could even imagine the words "Wassup son!?" coming out of his mouth...

problem is... he hardly speaks english... not to say he doensn't speak english at all, coz he does pop out occasional "eat!" , "nice!", "good!" to my admiration. alas.. my mandarin falls short of his expectations as he'd rather i stay quiet than speak mandarin and spoil the language... my moral of the story however was:

"dont expect too much!... it was just a hamper."

Other than this rather positive incident, i spent some good money on a 'nice' wallet for my gf as a gift when i went in her house to see her for ny. i thought it was new year u c.. and a new wallet would just come in handy for the new angpow packets... but once again. Great minds think alike! she not only already got her own wallet. but one that was "in trend" and left mine feeling like a million years back on the ladder of product innovation. "Urs one Not nice lah!", she said.

to me it felt like: "AHH! horrible! take this out of my sight!"

Moral of the story:
1. Do a lot of research if you wanna find a nice gift for ur gf.
2. Always hint her what you want to do. girls prefer something they chose rather than an unpleasant surprise.
3. Be careful. even if you wanna give something with your heart. its gotta be branded.
4. Flowers always work better.

Besides tha magical adventure to muar from melaka to c me gf, there was my one and only gambling session. Lost Rm20. thx to jimmy who kept on playing my cards even after i left the beach. He's planning to play again tonite, so im thinking how to FFK him again even though im staying in his house.. muhahaha.

Special thanks to him though for taking me under his care this new year once more. every year without a doubt we will be here, waking up late... going for late lunch and early dinner. the Ayam kicap! was a killer at any time man.

We spent most of our time in Cyber mastering dota all stars 6.12b AI. yes azlan. we're so far behind... but we mastered 4 insane level coms in 3 days time from the frist time playing it.

so u're next azlan.

See u all if i can survive this month with no money in my pocket. its gonna be another fatening month. with all the 1dollar nasi lemak i can afford. god protect me.....

alex.

Qui è alcune cose da pensare circa!

2006-01-25T10:44:00.000+08:00

grazie a Bablefish ora che posso scrivere in italiano.

Meh....

Top 5 thoughts for today are:

One of the most emotionally driven cancer advertisement I have ever seen. Watch it. Send it out to friends. Then try and help the National Cancer Society of Malaysia [NCSM] how ever you can. Caring is a beautiful thing.
As a moderate income executive I would have really liked to use our bus service to travel interstate. But this threw me off [ i wanted to link this but the staronline was down so, pick up a the star today, turn to page 24, search for the article bout 7 people injured and the bus driver dead story]. New coverage is everything, no matter how much the DJ's at hitz.dot.fm cajole me to use the bus service, I don't see it happening in the near future.
Oprah is in trouble. Well I blame the whole "A million little pieces" issue on the lack of detailed research on Harpo's management before making a big hoolabaloo about the book. As a brand I think Harpo is handling it fine. Oprah's will definitely loss some followers due to this issue but if she starts making too much fuss and protecting her brand's interest then the mass will see her protecting a brand (!) not a person. Sell Oprah as a human being and the few that they lose due to incident will be replaced pretty quickly. I feel that this is the perfect opportunity for Oprah to reaffirm her position as THE person to talk to.
Drunk Driving Sux. Here's a new ad campaign all bout it. [thanks to the adrant guys. you people rock!)

My company is looking out for brands/companies that are looking for some really cheap media coverage. We will be organizing a Cancer Awareness & Education Roadshow in Colleges and Universities [the program benefitiary is NCSM] and the program will be launched by a VVIP in a mall somewhere in May-June [thus ensuring the media coverage].

Special note: NCSM is a tax exampted organization so any donations or sponsors made towards this program is tax deductable. for more info email me at enquiries@wizardconnexions.com.

Well I gotta get back to writting proposals, reports and timelines. I'll try to post tomoro's top 5 list...well tomoro.

Chiao d'meowz.
Azlan A. Aziz

The Giant Awakens

2006-01-24T10:24:00.000+08:00

Yawnz......

I awake from my slumber!

Hello there world. I'm finally back back with a post [my long absence could be blamed on work or the PS2 or magic the gathering or JAIS/JAWI but in the end it really doesnt matter does it?)

As you can very well see the blog has degenerated to an obscene sight of shifting blames and jumping off the handle [just like the old days eh boys?]

As with this posting I would like to bring a few matters to clear up the air.

!st thing on the agenda, The D305 blog.

Haih.... guys..... what does it matter who post the blogs, whats said on the blog and all those other nitty gritty things. It doesn't really matter if Alex wants to contradict his own postings or if jimmy would like to spend more time on his own blog or if this blogs details is poorly defined or if i misplell everyword on all my posts. Chill man and keeping it current is the goal. It's really not a competition.

If its competition that you wan, Alex stop "FFK"ing me and jimmy all the time and come over to play some PS2.

2nd matter on the agenda, The Nude Ear Squat issue.
Both me and jimmy had a looong lengthy discussion on this and have come up with similar conclusion.

BULLSHIT~!

3rd item on the agenda, JAWI/JAIS moral snoop team.

The definition of moral should never be set by a governing body. It will always be biased to political issues. conforming to an established acceptable notions of right and wrong should never apply pressure upon couples who feel that holding hands or hands around the partners waist should be treated more than a sign of trust and understanding between two people.

75 people in Putrajaya did not join the snoop team just to help the Malay community as the papers said, 75 people joined the team to assert authority upon other people.

Final Item,

My very best wishes to all my Chinese friends celebrating CNY.
Gong Xi Fa Cai

CHIAOW D'MEOWZ

The Irony of Sin

2005-11-24T15:02:00.000+08:00

Alex Sin says"Finally moving on to what this blog should not be. i declare, that D305 should in no situation be a self praising tool or propaganda tool for one to their own gfs or immediate hot gals. Hence, keep the lucy duvy messages away please... speaking of which.... its been a year already for me and serene.... on OCt 31st... 365 days. im not jinxed at least... phew... wish me luck for my wedding guuys...

OMFG, the sheer irony of Alex is enough to piss me off. He started off by hinting that our combined blogging efforts should abstain from subtle love notes and at the very next entry, we see a full-fledged honey coated birthday confession on how much S means for him.

Please do not misunderstand me. I have absolutely nothing against professions of affection on our blog, but I cannot condone people who says something but does another, it is simply an insult to our intelligence and to yourself. So the next time you decide to say something, make sure you stand by it full-time. These things do not require repeats, hopefully. Thank you.

For Serene. Forever in my heart...

2005-11-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

Hopelessly addicted to ya...

When i first met serene about a year ago, i had no idea i was such a lousy ass with girls. I never thought i was a genius either, but trust me, after three failed relationships previously, there were some questions to be asked...

What had i done wrong?In actual fact, there was... uhmm.. well.. EVERYTHING!

When me and Serene first got together, it wasn't exactly the best of starts you could have dreamt of. Serene just came out of a relationship in which her ex bf bullied and ill treated her.

As for me, traces of my previous relationship still remained, haunting my thoughts every single day. The pain was even greater because of all the effort i had put in, only to be thrown away.

Once again, i had to start it all over again and get back on that quest to find the one... yeah.. i know. im a guy and i beleive in the one...Full Stop.

Being with Serene was different. Serene instead took care of me.For the first time in my life, i felt that i could let go. She was my safety net. You know that feeling of knowing someone's arm is always there to catch you.

She was the one who would watch for when i fell and helped me stand up again. I still had to try hard though to convince her of my feelings for her and what she meant for me as I once used to doubt my own feelings.

But serene took the patience... she accepted me for the person that i was and understood what i needed. She was my perfect match.

The thing about Serene was that she held her promises. She put me to test but i knew my efforts would not be fruitless. Although she was cautious about my sincerity and effort, I did my best to win her love and be worth her love coz i knew that beyond that Great Wall, was all i could ever dream of in a girl. People say a woman's love is endless. Without Limit. Without borders...

Serene's one was and still is today.

When i think of it... i must be the luckiest bastard on this earth. At the beginning there was everything that made us not suitable for each other... Difference in cultures, language, beliefs... basically everything you could simply think of.

But as all the tests Serene put me through, it showed that Love is not that easy. It demands a lot of sacrifice, effort, and dedication.

"Love" is not something that you win and maintain for the rest of your life with a person that you met. Many people fall in love and are very happy until the day they move in together and fail to understand each others moods and personal habbits or freak out at the first sight of that person in the morning. (you know, no gel or makeup!)

Real love is not about Love at first sight. Real love only exists in patience, understanding, care, compassion, and forgiveness.

For my part, i beleive i would have already gone through all of them with Serene. Beleive me, she has seen my worst. THE WORST THAT IT CAN BE. And god bless, she is still the one next to me today.

I truely think i've found true love. Beleive me, when someone still finds you sexy when you are in your stupidest of outfits and dancing on Village People wit Afro Hair, its gotta be real love. :)

Its been a year with my girl this month and its her birthday on the 26th as well... So this one goes to you darling...

Thanks for being next to me through the hard and the pain - For pulling me up when i was down. You forgived me when i did bad and taught me good when i said wrong. You cared when i was sick and lighted my way when i was in the dark.

I hope one day i am able to repay you all the faith and hope you have put in me. I truely hope that today i make you proud for what i've become.

I never wish to disapoint you for as long as we remain together and hope to bring you happiness in everything that we do.

Wish you the Happiest of Birthdays Sweetheart... I know a lot of things have not been going the way we would have liked them to go this month and i know i wont be here for your birthday...

Beleive me or not, it breaks my heart after you've done so much for me, i won't even be here for your 21st birthday... I wish i could change the world and turn back time but i can't. I promise you i will make up for it darling...

I miss you lots and i love you dearly.
Yours forever.
Alex

The Re-Beginning - The Prequel, Episode I

2005-11-05T18:23:00.000+08:00

Its been weeks if not months now that i've been waiting for Tripple A to clear his draft post off the list so i could post in some cock stories just for the sake of keeping this blog alive... Its not like nobody's trying, but there just seems to be a something amiss with the purpose of this blog.

When we first started this blog a few months back, the high spirits and enthusiastic brainstorms that the trio had about what this blog should have have been, made it worthwile for me having a contribution to it...

Sadly, after a slow start and hopeless taunts to Jimmy to get started, there was no sign of life. Azlan is still stuck in the midst of his draft post and well... i can't be blamed since im taking the initiative to post THIS ONE right now...

At least for once, my title makes sense to what im about to say. As i mentioned earlier, the problem of this blog lays in its purpose... What is the purpose of its existence? If you ask me now, i can't remember too much of what was discussed at Williams that night except for the fact that it should have been a fun thing which it isn't at the moment.

Sadly, reading my own blog over and over again and laughing at my own jokes again and again is proving to be no fun.

The Re-beginning - Episode 1, is the story of this blog.

What it was supposed to be?
What it should have been today?
What it SHOULD NOT be....
and finally... What to expect for episode II

I already know who my father is .. so forget this option.
I dont like chubaka. and i really prefer jessica alba to princess ambidalaialalaaaaa.watever.

Like my much beloved boss would say.
Common people. lets get creative and churn out this BIG IDEA....

The purpose.
3 bachelors and their take on life.
This is where you got it all wrong azlan. we're not bachelors anymore. we'd love to call ourselves bachelors still single and available but at the end of the day... we're all taken dude! Im thinking something more realistic.

Bachelors no more. Their new take on life. now that gives you a reason to bitch about your girlfriend when she stops you from playing PS 2.

D305 Today....
There seems to be growing disregard unfortunately to this blog by other members of this fellowship. we started as a team. and if one member goes its own way. it defeats the whole purpose of the fellowship. Mr. d305 Master Bedroom has for instance been actively updating his blog. sad to say, we've not seen much of him over here.

Tripple A.
Keep up the good job man. FOutnain of useless information you were born to be. Useless Information should you provide. such are the wise words of my jedi master.

Finally moving on to what this blog should not be. i declare, that D305 should in no situation be a self praising tool or propaganda tool for one to their own gfs or immediate hot gals. Hence, keep the lucy duvy messages away please... speaking of which.... its been a year already for me and serene.... on OCt 31st... 365 days. im not jinxed at least... phew... wish me luck for my wedding guuys...

and if you got quick tips on how to own a house, car, credit card, 10K job in a year or two let me know... would make things great for me....

Coming to the last part.
episode II.

much will be anticipating the sequel to the prequel, episode 1, alas... it all depends on the fellowship's survival and the return of the king...

your commments and suggestion are welcome...

Cheers.
Alex.

The Re-Beginning - The Sequel

2005-08-30T12:58:00.000+08:00

Yar Yar Yar, im kinda making full use of the title of my first ever blog over and over again, but lets admit it. My title works. Unlike jimmy aka jimbo who has to call himself "GAY" to attract readers(he's got this phobia about people not finding him funny and interesting), i just had the ingenuity to use a good title that would work on a long run.

Imagine Jimmy using "yay Im Gay" over and over again as his title. it would only end up in people thinking that he's a deranged guy, which he isn't. OF COURSE.

Enough said. Just to intro you guys to this week's topic, The Re-Beginning - The Sequel is about my boring life and of other people that surround me.

"DUH", you might express to yourself thinking: "Isn't that essence of each and every blog?"

"Duuuude! Ur so smart!" i would shoot back at you... nah.

But let's go back to a more serious topic. I've come to the conclusion that blogs attract three types of people. Bored teenagers with an inability to make themselves noticeable, so they have their own blog, that allows them to bitch, complain, whine or cry without making too much noise, and i say "Kudos"
At least it wont disturb any of us anymore.

Then there's the intellectual ones (if thats what they think). Goodie 2 shoes, with the common human flaw of complaining too much rather than trying to solve the problem. The blog provides them with an ideal platform of free speech in a liberal cyber world, in which they can tell as much as they want fringing the borders of defamation from time to time.

And finally, there's the "Jimmy" type. Those who talk a lot about blogs, who flatter tons of bloggers, who can comment about every single blog online and tell you one by one the URLs of the top rated bloggers who talk "sex life" but who actually dont write much online themselves.

Im not a particularly wonderful writer. Azlan i would think is pretty good, but whether he copies and pastes it from some other bloggers, i wouldn't know. but the point is that at least he knows how to do it smartly u see... and it just took him someone smarter than him (like me) to find out what he's up to.

But bloggers of the "jimmy" type talk, comment and blab blab a lot. and they just dont do it. i keep on trying to find something that jimmy wrote about on this blog.. but maybe he's too shy. maybe he's too fixed on his aging computer and computer games that he never ends, or maybe he's 2 fixed on his GF(I DUN THINK SO)...

So here u go. yes. this blog was not about my life. neither was it about someone else, but just another one to take the piss out of jimmy. And along with it was for me to prove my point that u don't need a funny or degrading title to attract people's attention. U just a point. a bit of research. and something interesting to tell people.

Same applies for great advertising. A good visual doesn't need a great headline.
Big and attractive headlines do catch attention. but do they sell ur idea?
i think that as long as u've got something interesting to say and something interesting to talk about people would read.

How do u know that?

Just by checking out whats the demand in the market. basic marketing. But i don't need to tell jimmy about all this lah. he's too smart for me anyways. you degree holder....

love u 2 jimmy. muahahaha.

p.s. Just kidding ya.

The Mana Curve

2005-08-17T18:21:00.000+08:00

ah the wonder and mayhem that is Magic: The Gathering (M:tG).

Mental sport of the the rich and the cause of much of my sudden burst of cursing and swearing while online.

Now for those who don't know this amazing game heres a short intro:

M:tG is a game somewhat like chess but thrown in the whole Magicks and Fantasy Creatures (like the perfect male; keep on reading your wild lover story books ladies, they dont exist).

M:tG is like chess:
1)It is a two (or more player) game
2)You have an army used to kill your opponent
3)It is a game of Strategy
4)There is alot of stress involved

M:tG is not like chess:
1)The objective of M:tG is to bring down the opponents life from 20 to 0
2)M:tG is a card game
3)M:tG does not have your creatures (your army) out on a board; you need mana (energy source) to cast (bring into play) your creatures
4)M:tG has spells; cards that bring a specific effect onto the playing field
*Your army and spells are used to bring down your opponents life down to 0*
5) you cannot learn how to play M:tG over the afternoon
*you can learn the basics but M:tG has over 7,000 different cards before you really know the game*

M:tG was to me a escape into something that I am good at. Wasn't all that great in my studies, sports or social life; but M:tG gave me the gratification of being good at something.

so thats the intro.

i thought i retired from M:tG after my high school days. But i learned quickly that M:tG stays with you forever. Its like riding a bike but 100 times more addictive. and the minute you find some else who plays magic thats it; your back in the game.

My first kaki after College was David Teh. Almighty Champion of Red Mages and 'I'll-blow-you-up-before-you-have-the-chance-to-put-out-a-land' player. Love playing with this guy coz he's fun AND analytical (like yours truly). after each game with him we'll have a de-briefing session and figure out why we lost/won.

Thats the real magic of M:tG. the communication, the exchange of ideas and the criticizing of each play.

Then i tried to teach Jimmy to play the game. Unfortunately; while he learned the game pretty fast (overnight really); at the end of it he didn't have the opportunity to play it much with the two of us and finally discarded the whole idea as a too expensive novelty.

Me and David went to a tourney together, got our ass handed back on a plate and became instant maniacs on how to to win. ever since then we downloaded every play, learned every tactic and played a minimal of 10 games (everyday!) against each other for maybe five months straight.

but now davids' in penang and i dun have a pc (mac user i am) so we dun get to play with each other. Fortunately for us, i just found a free software that we can use WebWizard. Anyone playing on this software can look me up anytime (nick : orrkie/orrkie2)

Im running outta time here. But i hope to go further into my M:tG interest with you guys some other time but i gtg.

Best Wishes,
Azlan A. Aziz

yay I'm gay!

2005-08-16T16:40:00.000+08:00

Now that I have caught ur attention, no I am not homosexual. Damn brits turned this jovial and happy word to something promiscous back in the 60s. Anyways, this blog was started by 3 hunks, Az, Alex and me one hot night while we were sitting in William's mamak sipping teh ais eating nasi goreng kampung mata kerbau tambah cili padi. Thought this bloggie to be a good idea to keep in touch and hone our creativity and copywriting skills at the same time. 2 chicks with one stone! Like what both my hommies did, I will give a simple introduction to the other 2:-

Alex aka hottie aka beachboi
Alex Sin joined D305 by pure coincidence. My Chinese mistresses had to go back to China because their permits were cancelled and he got kicked out from the house after a big scuffle with his ex. So what should a kind samaritan like me do? Take him in of course! After sometime, we got to know each other better and I started buying him alcohol. Not so much to the fact that he likes to drink anyway, but its fun!

Like the time we played chor tai dee and how we made a pact that the loser needs to down a whole bottle of Korean rice wine or how we celebrated his bday in Bar Fly and Atmos last year and came home knowing that he crashed head on into the fish bowl with Harry, Larry and Moe in it (names of our goldfishies). Poor BK had to babysit the smashed Alex and take up to 9 puking sessions that night, not to mention that the car reeked of fermented alcholic tofu too.

And then, it was about hottie Alex getting to know chicks like Serene. We went out together a few times and Alex will gladly fill me in on good tips on how to get chicks so as to enhance my desperate ailing sex life (if there's any) [note: Thx Al!]

Last but not least, Alex has been a true friend. Steadfast and reliable, he is always there for you and comes in handy when you need a buddy to go drinking with. He is also the janitor of the house and makes sure that the house remains in a livable condition. Yes, in a way he's like a matron. We love Alex and I know I am being redundant, but he's so hot I can rip his clothes to shreds and lick his bod all over. *oops!* I am not gay ar *glares*

Azlan aka Prof of useless information aka war-scar-on-butt-gamer

Yes you heard about the scar. You heard about the blood and horror but lemme share the full story with you. Azlan knocked on my door 1 fine morning while I was still in Dreamland. Feeling a bit peeved, I opened the door and came face to face with a pale faced Azlan looking back. He was half naked with his left hand trying to hold the towel up, his right hand was placed on his butt. Below is a rough recollection of the conversation that occured:-

(Azlan - A, Jimmy - J)
A: Hey Jimmy I need you to send me to the hospital.
J: What happened?!
A: I cut myself.
J: Where?
A: My buttocks.
J: OMG!

At that point, I din find it funny. I went pass the half limping Azlan and looked into the toilet. It looked absolutely horrifying. There was blood at the now shattered toilet bowl, blood on the walls, blood on the washing basin and last but not least all over the floor. I would have bought it if someone told me that a murder happened here. I ran back into my room, fetched Azlan into the hospital and also called his parents.

It was only much later when BK called me that I found the incident hillarious.
(BK - B, Jimmy - J)
B: Hey Jimmy, do you happen to know where Azlan is?
J: I am at the hospital with him now.
B: What happened?!
J: He accidently cut his ass on the toilet bowl.
B: He what?!...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That's when the laughter lasted a good 2-3 minutes, infected and with the panic passing, I laughed long and hard as well. Given the chance, I would like to take a look at Az's ass and just see for myself how well its recovering or I can ask Eve, LOL.

Aiks, I am suppose to give my 2 cents about Azlan right? Yeah. If I am suppose to use 1 word to describe Azlan, it has to be fun! He is such a darling to have around, parties, mamaking sessions or a guys night out. He makes the core of the party and has everyone rolling on all-fours with his funny and sometimes downright corny jokes. He is also my sifu when it comes to Magic: the Gathering and King of Fighters and gets to kill me in CS once in a blue moon.

He is also someone that I depend on for good cheer when I am down and and my answer to dumb questions like why an anal ring is round. Thanks for the 7 years of friendship mate!

P.S: Azlan, where is the transsexual ham dai you snatch from me in SS2 pasar malam?

Together we form D305. The core of everything and anything dirty, despicable, disgraceful and deregatory.

Cheers
Jimbo

When the cat shows her nails (meow~!)

2005-08-15T21:09:00.000+08:00

ahem....

*cough cough*

ok, lets get this started.

First off i would like to reintroduce the female species as i have studied them.

The female species:
1) has an emotional attachement to everything they own.
2) the female species has only 3 emotions: happy, Angry and depressed
3) they only object that they own that can bring out all three emotions is her boyfriend. They label this anomally as love.

So that explains many things about her relationship. Now lets get back to the focus of this entry.

Being straight is a mixed blessing. Being accept by the masses = GOOD; having a female partner = Much Confusion (and as we all know this male hates being confused).

She nags on me, tell me to do stuff i dun wanna do, constantly pokes fun at me, gets angry at me for being the average joe, hits me when im having 'too much fun with her', says the things i do is boring/ long winded/ complicated/ dangerous/ a waste of money.

so wat is it that drives me too worry too much when she is in trouble, or feed her when she's sick, pamper her with the things she likes and the words that she wants to hear everyday or push myself to my very limit to give her everything that she ever wished for?

i could go round and round bout 'chemistry and the special magical spark between us', 'the way she looks' 'the sacrifices that we make for each other' bla bla bla yadda yadda yadda. but after much thought it all boils down to:

she nags on me, tell me to do stuff i dun wanna do, constantly pokes fun at me, gets angry at me for being the average joe, hits me when im disrespectful to her, says the things i wanna do is too boring/ long winded/ complicated/ dangerous/ a waste of money.

so for that special someone in my life, Muaxxx thanks for being everything that i could have ever imagined about being happy, fulfilled and complete (yes bad english but i really can't word out any better).

Regards,
Azlan A. Aziz

In the 'Spirit' of Things~!

2005-08-15T20:06:00.000+08:00

Ah alchohol!

the magical elixir that makes the old feel young, the shy brave, the not so funny hilarious and the not so pretty into hot babes you just wait to introduce yourself to.

alchohol must be the most written about food stuff in the history of human kind. Mead of the bible, laws of the local magistrate and endless amount of advertising. Just for discussions sake, how many of us has:

1) Funny stories about friends who were too drunk?
2) Secret recipies of the 'perfect cocktail'?
3) Discussions in the mamak about the 'night you got so drunk....'?

many though do not discuss the best way to handle a drunk. After much research (mostly on myself) I will list down the step by step guide on:

HANDLING THE DRUNK FRIEND

Step 1:
Determine how drunk the poor lad really is. Don't make him walk a straight line, touch his nose, tell the number of fingers you have up or anything like that. try something that uses more cognitive skill.

Like rate that girl sitting the bar, or spell missisippi backwards (if he takes longer than a minute then hes officially too drunk to do anything). These are good, real tests.

Step 2:
Don't take him out to get fresh air. That does nothing to clear the mind. Instead feed lots of plain water (warm if possible). That will force the bugger to go to the toilet more often keeping his liver working fine and starting draining the alchohol out of his body.

Step 3:
Feed lots of fiber and carbs. The food stuff will start absorbing the alchohol in his body up nicely for step 4.

Step 4:
Somewhere around here he'll start barfing away.

when taking care of a vomiting drunk
1) stand behind the person.
2) rub his back upwards.
3) if he allows it hold around his waist and when you feel the stomach tensing up to hurl gently apply more pressure directly on the stomach to push more of the carbs out.
4) have tissue and clean water available for him to clean up.
5) continue from step 2

Remember at all times, when under the influence of alchohol the person is easily irritable, has a heighten sense of hearing, loss much of his motor skills and has very little control of his emotional state. Take all that into consideration before even volunteering to take care of a drunk friend.

If you guys can manage the time, watch 'The legend of Bagger Vance', especially the scene where the kid tries to convince the golfer guy to enter the golf tournament. The topic on the table then was 'How drunk is drunk enough' the moral was 'we choose to be drunk to forget who we really are.

but not to end the blog on a sombre note i have compiled the list below.

Twenty-Five Reasons Why a Beer Is Better Than A woman

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play softball.
5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
8. Hangovers go away.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth five cents.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
14. If you pour a beer right, you always get good head.
15. A beer always goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know when your the first one to pop a beer.
19. Beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. You can have a beer in public.
22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

Best wishes,
Azlan A. Aziz

I'm at a party~!

2005-08-14T01:01:00.000+08:00

Im drunk~!

the mos importsnt about me being drunk is that i tell nothing but the truth. (that and that i los complete control of my motor skills)
=)

i love my saynng.

i miss the friends that i had in block d 305.

and i ish i had the money to start a company aof my own. 1st impression.

more on that some other time.

best wisshes,

Azlan A. Aziz

Taking the piss out of Jimmy

2005-08-13T12:33:00.000+08:00

Just previewed my first post on d305. Gotta admit it looks good. and just for the fun of it. here's my second post. jimmy try to beat that now! u got something interesting to say!? then BRING IT ON! Muahahaha.

anyways.

Since Mr Azlan Aziz Abdul is doing the credits things, here's my take on the two other members of d305 fellowship.

Azlan Aziz.
Unrevealed secrets of the man who broke the toilet bowl.

Came into the house one day. There was drips of blood all over the floor leading to the door and sprayed all over the toilet walls. I thought to myself: "Did those two fight again!?" Did Azlan lose it this time!? Why the toilet bowl? How was i gonna do my thing?

Came out that azlan took a dump, dunno how he sat on the toilet bowl (squatting according to jimmy) - he sure must be good at aiming his shit to the water hole i thought, and that is when the toilet bowl broke, cut up his arse, 37 stiches and 1 inch thick.

I still ask myself why i didn't take a picture of the scene that day. Would have been worth a million laughs today.

Jimmy Lim. aka Wei Yuen
The Al-Mighty Lord of the PS2.

If there's one good thing that Jimmy ever did to the house, its gotta be the PS2. From the sad old days of watching TV3 to the high definition visuals of King of Fighters or Street Fighter on that sad old Sony TV (which happens to be Jimmy's actually). and came the day it went away... to meet up with Jimmy's brand new 100Hz 29" Flat Screen Panasonic. It was gone... not to be seen again...

On top of that, Jimmy's been a goood housemate. everytime at home when i would forget my keys, and accompanied me during the time i was after my current GF, Serene.
Its been almost 10 months we together now dude. Thanks.

Well.. that sums it up for today. i started writing this blog about 4 hours ago... and after 2 meeting breaks and a team discussion, i finally manage to put this thing together.

Cheers for today. I shall be back.

The Re-Beginning

2005-08-13T09:13:00.000+08:00

Like Azlan would have explained to any of you(with nothing to do) reading this blog, i don't have much time to contribute to this(waste of my time) blog writing.

So i found an alternative way to make those two other whiners happy. Mr. Jimmy, after nagging me numerous times, about not being dedicated enough to this blog, now feels the heat with all the (watever) annual reports he's gotta do.

Yes! Mr. jimmy. U are submerged with work once a year. Im like that EVERY DAY! now u try to find some freeeeeeee time out of your 'supposedly' busy schedule and contribute to this place as well... after all if you've got enough time to read what im saying now, im sure you can drop a few lines. Nah.

To Mr. Azlan Aziz (Managing Director of his own company), Thank you very much for making this blog alive and updating it once in a while out of your busy schedule as a managing director unlike some other people that i wont mention. muahahaha...
(Jimmy, see how good a friend i am. never mentioned ur name...)

coming back to my alternative. Put it this way.. over the last few months with the blog craze coming up, i did indeed get caught up in the chain, and out of curiousity decided to start my own blog.

Result. 1 post. On friendster blogs. thats it. and since i already dont have time to look after ONE blog, imagine TWO blogs now... so i decided, screw the friendster blog and here it is, re-edited from my friendster blog, my very first, one and only, 1st post, titled "The Beginning" and re-edited for the joy and pleasure of Jimmy Lim.

Hope you guys enjoy.

Life's A bitch (The Beginning)

Im sure any of you reading this text at this very moment must have asked yourself at least once in your lives about why is life so unfair? If you didn't, that would mean that you might just be lucky enough to be part of that elite group to whom GOD (or whoever the ONE who decides how life goes) has given everything that one might dream of in life.

For the rest of us, it is an utmost battle for survival while our desires and wants remain mere dreams far way from the reality of life. Yes. We do have to work for a living guys... Sadly. (Yes jimmy, u know i dont have a choice right)

As for the lucky ones (Like jimmy), its about a question of what holidays they're planning next or which sports car they might consider purchasing next summer.

Isn't it an ironic situation that while mother nature, is trying hard to strike a balance between different races and species on the other side of the world, I wonder... where's the balance in our lives? The divide between rich and poor, why are men from mars and women from venus, racial wars (White vs Black - Malay Vs Chinese), Men's various penis sizes or women's different breast size come to think of it...

Why can't life be something pleasant. Something enjoyable. Why do we have to work for 30 years to be able to sit down and relax in the house of our dreams? Many dont even get there.

I ask myself. How do we define Life? (jimmy, why dont u take this as ur topic for your first post!!? ah? ah?)

Life is one of the most complex forms of feelings i would believe... Yeah.. life is a feeling. many would tell you that you only know you're alive when you feel pain. when you suffer. when you love. when you are loved.

Just try this. Hold your breath for as long as you can and when you can't take it anymore, release. Take in a long, slow deep breath to fill in your lungs with oxygen again... Tell me what you feel.

You feel alive, your senses communicating various feelings to your brain, alert and sensitive to every move. Yes, Life is a feeling. And like all feelings, when things are not going right, it makes you sad. It makes your heart ache. And it makes you ask yourself the same question over and over again. Why are you alive?

The answer lies within each and everyone of us.

Life is a journey. An Adventure. Life is a challenge. And if we want to do something about that feeling of being alive, then we gotta work for it. I take for example Steven Spielberg's latest epic, War of the worlds, which says that life is all about mankinds' constant battle for survival. It is the experience that defines who we are and what we will become.

And that same rule applies for each and everyone of us.

So for all of you right now who might be asking yourself again, why you are on this earth, or why is life going so upside down. Remember, take it as a challenge. You fail? Start again.

Losers have no place on this earth. Yeah i know, i sound like a bastard. But Life's a bitch too.

The Credits are Rolling~!

2005-08-12T11:38:00.000+08:00

Okie dokie, jimmy called me up last night and told me to do some things to the blog to make it more 'interesting'.

First off, we din have any profile, well i looked into the profile menu and did not like the options there (after all 1500 characters limit on the profile doesn't give much for me to play with).

So i reasoned why bother filling the profile up (when no one actually looks up a profile anyways) when i can have it as a blog and have everyone in the world take notice?

Lets begin.

D305 is in all actuality an adress of an apartment in Lily apartments at Taman Mayang Jaya. Jimmy Lim, Alex Sin and me we used to stay there togather. Jimmy took the big room (and aircond too), Alex had the middle room while i took the small one (never the less I stuffed in a queen size bed all in the name of a good nights sleep).

A lil bit more about each individual later.

So there was three bachelor guys all staying under one roof and life was good. Good as in interesting, havok like, and full of PS2, chores and smoking at the balcony.

All of us was working, Alex and myself were in Limkokwing. While Jimmy got hooked on a Advertising Executive job with Octagon Advertising (correct me if I'm wrong Jimmy). Most of our days were a mix of job stress, 'mamak'ing and lots and lots of squabbling.

You see all three of us were very different in character. Alex was a neat freak, Jimmy only cleaned the area exposed to the public and i was more of the one who cleaned when i really had nothing better to do or when the only way to stop alex's nagging was to help him out cleaning the place.

Jimmy Lim.

House owner (of sorts) and advertising extrodinaire, ok maybe not extrodinaire but he's pretty good.

Jimmy is the sort of guys that buys heaps and heaps of VCDs, DVDs, PS2 games and PC games but never seem to able to finish any games or watch all the DVDs. He loves owning things. He just can Never seem to get around to do anything with the things he has.

Also the only one with a car before I bought mine, often bullied into taking the other two of us out to makan or go to parties. Also always designated driver for the very same reason.

He's cool though, does the monthly rent and utility break down without any fuss at all, mixes with the LUCT gang with no problems and never has any problems with me and alex hogging the PS2.

Reads alot, eats alot, talks alot and all round good fren.

Alex Sin

Creol speaking Mauritian Chinese.

Neat freak. Fussy. Nags. (Meticulous, Careful, and Nags).

Alex is too busy to ever contribute too this blog.
1) He still works late into the night for Tan Sri Datuk Doktor Lim Kok Wing.
2) He spends wat ever left of the night Cleaning the house.
3) The rest of the night he's doing he's assignment for his Degree in Mass Communication, Layaning his girlfriend, or Layaning Johan Beh (his ex... Heart breaking story that is best left for some other time).

Good Drinker. Good Cook. Good Friend.

Azlan A. Aziz

A complete lost without
1) Microsoft Words to correct constant typo error and grammatical mistakes.
2) A map of PJ and KL
3) My girlfriend
4) My laptop

A total Magic: The Gathering freak, always online on WebWizard at 11 a.m till 1 p.m.
Can't hold his drinks down.
Supprisingly in the advertising line as well (considering everything above).

I write the way I speak, never preview any materials that i post and whine alot.
Fortunately my girlfriend corrects most of my errors and still loves me.

so i guess that about covers it. The blog will cover mostly bachelor, manly, manly stuff but i hope jimmy will be able to add some class to it.

I'll do more things to the sidebar and all that later on in the month.

Till then,
Chiaow d'meowz,

Azlan A. Aziz

The PC lady of horror

2005-08-05T15:51:00.000+08:00

The the sweet whafting aroma of new pc and IT peripherals was all over KLCC. No suprise since it PC Fair again! YAY!

The nerd and techno geeks promised lands comes to life with pretty computer hardware girls. Big yay to the competition being so tough there that the companies decided to use the "pretty girls and short skirts" strategy to sell computer hardware (regardless whether these girls know anything about wat the product key selling proposition is at least the guys are stopping by to to "look see look see")

so this morning i thought id take advantage of the PC fair and drop by sunway pyramid to get myself a usb wifi dongle (i love my mac so much but to service the wifi arial gonna cost me a whopping 300 bux but my monthly budget forced me to come out with a cheaper alternative).

so there i was in sunway, looking gor a usb dongle that was compatible with my mac (only one available in malaysia that under RM 150 = dlink dwl-g122 for u macaddicts out there). Low and behold i found it at this lil obscure shop right behind the Sunway IT centre. price?

RM 187!

screw tat i thought. All this things can bargain onelah. after all most of these ppl marked up the price of these very specialised by 40% -50% which leaves them a bargaining power of maybe a 10%-20& "discount" to make them look very very kindlah so that we patronize the establishment more.

so i embark in the graceful dance of bringing the price down (ok not so graceful coz my girlfren says that when i start bargaining with these ppl all i have this f*cked face and a "im better than u" tone; which isnt true=).

coming back to the situation at hand the lady behind the counter refused to bring down the price below 180. now by this time she explained to me that she follows the price from low yat plaza main office.

i look her in the face and explained to her that the last week i was hunting for the same product and she told me that the price was 170 so its quite impossible the price went up instead of down. so i told her i do actualy have the choice of going downtown for the pc fair and getting the the price lower. i MAY have mentioned that it would have been a smarter choice for her to drop the price down to 160 and i can take 2 of her slowest moving products off the shelves (which is true as true tech ppl would nvr be caught dead buying a cheapo shop like hers. that plus the fact that i saw the serial numbers was the same as the week before (useful information for bargaining... usually).

i dun remember exactly the words i used but hey its the msg that matters right?

now she decided that i was being a smart alec and a "trouble maker" and to top it off decides to call me names in cantonese that would make a mother's ear shrivel and drop off. Bwahahahah. u should have seen her face when i walked away from the counter when and called her a 2-bit whore back in cantonese.

that said i went to klcc and met a few clients there and bought the USB dongle at 135 each.

but i ramble. the moral of this episode; i learned that most ppl are workers and never think through of the benefit of their establishment (penny wise pound foolish most of them). too many ppl assume that their client know nothing about the products they sell and nvr assume that the clients can speak cantonese.

for all u techies out there i urge that u nvr walk away front a sales person that sells too high and tells u that it's the cheapest price available. Never let them walk all over us and speaks to us as if we're to dumb to understand their products. i hope that they will soon learn their lesson and just give to the fact that malaysians loves to bargain. meet that need and all of us (purchasers and sellers alike) will walk away from the counter feeling that there waas no losers in that bargaining session.

best wishes to all,
Azlan A. Aziz

Holla!

2005-07-29T13:12:00.000+08:00

Yay jimmy~!
friend on the insane, retarded and alex the hottie for setting up this blogspot for us.
kudos to alex for being such a hottie.

by virtue of the fact that i am the "fountain of useless informations" lets start of our blog with a bang.

How to Break Down a Door

Interior Doors

1. Give the door a well-placed kick or two to the lock area to break it down. Running at the door and slamming against it with your shoulder or body is not usually as effective as kicking with your foot. Your foot exerts more force than your shoulder, and you will be able to direct the force toward the area of the locking mechanism more succinctly with your foot.

Alternate Method (if you have a screwdriver)

* Look on the front of the doorknob for a small hole or keyhole. Most interior doors have what are called privacy sets. These locks are usually installed on bedrooms and bathrooms and can be locked from the inside when the door is shut, but have an emergency access hole in the center of the door handle which allows access to the locking mechanism inside. Insert the screwdriver or probe into the handle and push the locking mechanism, or turn the mechanism to open the lock.

Exterior Doors

If you are trying to break down an exterior door, you will need more force. Exterior doors are of sturdier construction and are designed with security in mind, for obvious reasons. In general, you can expect to see two kinds of latches on outside doors: a passage- or entry-lock set for latching and a dead-bolt lock for security. The passage set is used for keeping the door from swinging open and does not lock. The entry-lock set utilizes a dead latch and can be locked before closing the door.

1. Give the door several well-placed kicks at the point where the lock is mounted. An exterior door usually takes several tries to break down this way, so keep at it.

Alternate Method (if you have a sturdy piece of steel)

* Wrench or pry the lock off the door by inserting the tool between the lock and the door and prying back and forth.

Alternate Method (if you have a screwdriver, hammer, and awl)

* Remove the pins from the hinges (if the door opens toward you) and then force the door open from the hinge side. Place the awl or screwdriver underneath the hinge, with the pointy end touching the end of the bolt or screw. Using the hammer, strike the other end of the awl or screwdriver until the hinge comes out.

Assessing Amount of Force Required.

Interior doors in general are of a lighter construction than exterior doors and usually are thinner—1 3/8" thick-1 5/8" thick—than exterior doors, which generally are 1¾ thick. In general, older homes will me more likely to have solid wood doors, while newer ones will have the cheaper, hollow core models. Knowing what type of door you are dealing with will help you determine how to break it down. You can usually determine the construction and solidity of a door by tapping on it.

* Hollow core. This type is generally used for interior doors, since it provides no insulation or security, and it requires minimal force. These doors can often be opened with a screwdriver.

* Solid wood. This is usually oak or some other hardwood, and it requires an average amount of force and a crowbar or other similar tool.

* Solid core. This has a softwood inner frame with a laminate on each side and a chipped or shaved wood core, and it requires an average amount of force and a screwdriver.

* Metal clad. This is usually softwood with a thin metal covering, and it requires average or above average force and a crowbar.

* Hollow metal. This is of a heavier gauge metal that usually has a reinforcing channel around the edges and the lock mounting area, and is sometimes filled with some type of insulating material. This type requires maximum force and a crowbar.

courtesy of http://www.worstcasescenarios.com and because me and alex have been locked out of our room more than once.

Best Wishes,
Azlan A. Aziz

Alex is a hottie!

2005-07-28T10:16:00.000+08:00

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